Smack.

I think one of my favorite, yet most loathed moments in growing in my faith would be the parental smack on the back of my head that I figuratively get every now and again from my creator. I basically hate to love it.

Last week was pretty crazy, mother's day and all had work pretty crazy, and I so I was working a lot at top speed. Needless to say once I got home, I basically sat in a vegetative state and stared blankly at all that went on around me. This goes to say that when I couldn't fall asleep last Wednesday night, I was pretty frustrated, because I knew I was going to need all the quality sleep I could get.

So I was up wrestling with my thoughts, and started to pray...this is an old trick i do..it tends to calm my spirit, and more often then not there's a good reason why I'm not able to sleep...God is up to something.

So I was praying and wrestling over some happenings going on, and decided to read for a bit. I'm still working my way through this book Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Chambers. Its VERY good, and recommend it to anybody.

Needless to say, I came across this:
"The person who is impatient with weakness will be ineffective in his leadership. The evidence of our strength lies not in the distance that separates us from other runners but in our closure with them, our slower pace for their sakes, our helping them pick it up and cross the line."

I couldn't even finish the rest of the chapter, I just kept rereading this section of the chapter and letting my mind mull it over, letting it sink in.

So let me tell you the other half of the story.

There's this older woman at work who drives me absolutely out of my mind. She basically had my job, until I came back and quickly learned all there was to know about the job...and more. She is not happy about this, and sometimes struggles with what her roll is. Instead of trying to figure this out and being flexible, she tends to just not do anything. This is the part where she drives me out of my mind. I can literally work circles around her, and she continues to move at turtle speed and on completely off the wall projects. She's not one to take initiative nor really offer to do anything remotely physically challenging. All this is enough to handle on a normal day, but amidst mothers day mayham....it was just a little over the top.

In the end, I was being a bit short tonged, and instead of confronting rationally, I was lashing out. Of this, I am not proud of. But its the truth.

So I jotted this quote down, and stuck it in my shirt pocket (yes I'm one of those nerdy people who run around work with at least 5 papers in my pocket at any given time). Throughout the rest of the week I pulled it out from time to time, and re-read it. It really helped and through this I also realized what God was asking me to do.


All i can say is. I'm working on it.