Here.

It seems strange to me how 4 years ago I couldn't have fathomed living here, and yet as we round out 2 years since graduation and my moving home, here is still where I am.

Its not that here is a bad place, I've just always craved and hungered after more. More then this. More then the 9-5 job, church on Sundays, aimless conversation, and youthful entertainment. And all those things encompass what here was in my mind.

I've learned that wherever "here" is at the moment, it isn't hard before it turns into the exact definition that I held this place to in years prior. The trick is I never planned to stay in one place long enough for it to become that.

I became good at running. Running from here meant being there, and there sounded like a much better place to spend my life then here. I could have conversation with people, good conversation and not be too concerned about what I said, because soon enough I wouldn't probably see them again. I could work the 9-5 job because I knew I wouldn't be there too long, and there was always a light at the end of the tunnel. Everything I involved myself in as I traveled different places was much easier...in my head anyway...because it had a definitive end.

Unlike here.

Here are the friendships that are still going to be here in a few weeks/months. Here is where I'm held accountable to my actions because there is long term commitment involved. Here is where I cant walk away from relationships I'm frustrated in; but I need to work them out. Here is where I work out how my gifts and passions related to my daily life. There is no more here box and there box, it is all one; and its tricky working all aspects of who I am into one box.

Everyone always thinks traveling elsewhere is scary. Its here that's scary. Here takes commitment, and growth. Confrontation and accountability. Its easy to slip through the cracks when you're always there and never here.